How to Stay Positive when You Know Your Life Sucks

Thinking negative? Here are some strategies for how to start thinking positively and accomplish what you want in life.courtesy:wikihow.com

Ground Yourself. The most common reason why people think their lives suck is that they aren't living their own lives. Look deeply into whether you are acting to please others - to please family, friends, and society. Realize that you need to get to know who you are and what your needs are, and make the choices to follow your own path. To know these things, a path of meditation and inner exploration is invaluable. This also comes to aid if you lose interest in things.

Look on the inside. What are some qualities you have that you like about yourself? Are you funny? Are you intelligent? Are you sincere? Are you generous? What do you have pride in? Try focusing on the positive things in your life. You may be having a positive influence on others even when you think you're useless.

Prove those negative thoughts wrong. When you find yourself in a bad mood, you could think of the negative things such as, "I'm dumb and annoying", "I'm better off dead", "I'm ugly, I wish I looked different", etc. Even though it's not true. Change your mind. Look for your good features, think about the ones that you know love you, look on your greater side. Realize that nobody's life is easy and that there will always be ups and downs, and moments of low self esteem. Don't automatically assume that nobody cares. Every person matters to someone. You're alive for a reason.

Appreciate what you see. Look in the mirror. Find some beautiful things about yourself.... Do you have nice skin? nice nails? beautiful eyes? full lips? Find stuff that appeals to you. When you can't change something, change your attitude towards it!

It's all how you look at it. Jealous of the people with 'amazing' lives? They chose to be that way! Remember, there are people living in mansions who are miserable and people living on the street who are perfectly happy. It's all on how you look at it.

Determine how your life could be better. What can you do to make your life better? What do you desire to do? How do you want to feel? Make a few reachable goals and your own strategies. The first step is usually the hardest - getting help or admitting you need it.

Get motivated. What motivates you? What gives you energy to go on everyday? Music? Love? Family? A 1km run? God? Your attitude? Your pet? Friends? School? Give yourself a boost by focusing on what is important to you personally.

Remember that some things can pass with time. There will be a tomorrow. There will be a next week. There will be a next month and perhaps by then, things will have changed for the better. If you are underage in a bad situation you have a definite release date after which your life is your own, all the things you could do to better it will come into reach even if they're difficult.

Reminisce. Whenever you feel like the future is 'hopeless', think about happy memories. It will help make you feel better and remind you that in the future, there will be good things, too. Think about all the good things you've experienced, felt, and achieved, and consider how many more good things could be waiting ahead. There will be many great moments in your life - don't let a few obstacles get in the way. If you don't have any happy memories, this is relative - don't judge them by things other people think of as "happy memories." Think of the moments it wasn't as bad, even if those were only in solitude.

Don't stop yourself from feeling the joy. It's okay to step back once in awhile and just enjoy the moment. Even in tough situations - it's important to smile and laugh here and there. Don't restrict yourself from doing things you love because they're "not important" or because you think you'll be criticized for doing them. Let yourself enjoy life even if you're not at the best place you could be. You only live once - make the best of it.

Develop a gratitude journal. It's pretty simple. At the end of every day, write down five things that have made you happy or appreciative that day -- not necessarily big things, even small ones count. For example: nice weather, being praised by my boss for getting an urgent errand done, my playful dog, kids and hubby kissing me goodbye before they went to school/work, a hilarious joke a mate shared, etc.

If you feel persistently sad, unmotivated, anxious, hopeless or fearful, seek professional help. You may be suffering from a mood disorder or nutritional deficit which could be contributing to your situation. Chronic physical pain can cause these symptoms too, if an aspirin lifts your mood then go to a pain clinic. Remember there is always somebody there who wants to help you. You are valuable!

Cope With Frustration

Frustration is a form of poorly expressed anger. Frustration is about expecting the world and its inhabitants to be a certain way. In reality, things are as they are and no amount of ranting and steaming is going to change that. What you do need to change is your perspective.courtesy:wikihow



Look for the triggers that cause you to feel frustration. Common ones include:

> Impatience at the speed of people, systems, or results (See How to Be Patient).

> Slow comprehension of facts or a situation by another person

> Lack of reliability of a person, item, or system

> General sense of unfairness or injustice about things that are occurring in your life

> Poor communications resulting in something not being done at all, or on time
Wanting things your own way without compromise

Think through your answers. Do any of the above situations apply to you? If so, note down why. Draw another column and suggest ways that you might address each frustration in a fruitful manner instead. For example:

> "I get frustrated when the traffic crawls to halt and I am sitting in it, sweating. Counter thought: "I do hate the traffic being slow but I can avoid it by leaving earlier or later; or I can ride a bike instead."

> "I cannot stand the way George is so slow at understanding the point of every exercise! I'm tearing out my hair!" Counter thought: "I know that George is a slow learner but my goodness, when he grasps the concepts finally, there is no stopping him and he is often the person who points out errors as we go along, helping us to avoid greater problems at the end of the project. I need to be patient with him and remember that he has this latent skill."

> "Jenny never turns up on time. It's as if she is deliberately trying to ruin every occasion I spend with her!" Counter-thought: "Jenny has a problem with punctuality. It's not my problem unless I make it one. Instead, I need to either make her arrive on time by suggesting she arrive at a time half an hour earlier than the real time set, or I just need to get on with enjoying myself until she does arrive, in the full knowledge that that is her way."

> "Everything is so unfair! Even the weather is against me making my hair all lank and horrible. The people on the street are deliberately bumping into me. The taxi was late and I was late going into the meeting as a result. The whole world is against me!" Counter thought: "It's just one of those days where things happen over which I have little control. All the same, next time I will book my taxi for half an hour earlier to make time for possible delays. And as for my hair, it is probably time to see the hair stylist anyway!"

Breathe deeply and count when you feel a bout of frustration coming on. This is a good opportunity to create your reaction rather than to react and create your frustration. One deep breath, followed by a slow count to ten, during which time you let your thoughts go. Return to reality and consider the situation before you carefully and with a reality check. Ask yourself:

> Are things really as I perceive them?

> What sort of reaction can I give that will properly express my concern, my annoyance, my wishes?

> What good and positive words can I use to express the need for seeing things my way too?

> Am I seeing things in other people's way too?

Remember that frustration is born of wanting things or people to be a certain way that is fixed in your head. Your expectations of others and of how the world works is formed over many years of experiences and sometimes your personal overlay is defective; it might have been a source of self-protection once but when it continues to advise you poorly for future experiences, then it is stuck in time, and generally plain wrong. When you cease to expect other people to act in a certain way, when you start to look at the world with fresh eyes again and expect nothing apart from the fact that you are a member of a community of individuals and a world of many happenings, then you start to realize that things happen, people are the way that they are, and most importantly of all, how you react matters. For example:

> Let's say that somebody yells at you for accidentally standing on the street, as you intend to cross the road at the same time that they're coming around. There is no real fault here. You thought the road was clear, the driver did too. Neither of you had malicious intent. To take offense at the driver's fear of running you over is to place an interpretation on this event that isn't there; instead, accept that the driver was scared they'd hurt you (and that's a good intent) and that your piece in the action was equal. Simply apologize, acknowledge your own scare in the situation, and move on.

Practice talking back to yourself every time that frustration arises. It takes a long time to overcome what has become essentially a very comforting but demoralizing habit. While it might feel justified to feel a sense of outrage, persecution, and insult, where do those types of self-pitying feelings ultimately lead you? They lead to personal stagnation and a victimhood type mentality that prevents you from growing as a human being and from experiencing what the whole world truly has to offer. Don't give up on letting go the grip of frustration; it will take time but it will happen if you put in a concerted effort to change your perspective.

The Secret for Perfect Health

Holistic health brings us great insight into the mind body connection. By focusing our minds and energy on positive thoughts, we are better able to foster healing in our bodies. Principles taught in Rhonda Byrne's book "The Secret" mirror this philosophy and are of great use when dealing with sickness. Follow the steps below and begin to attract health to your mind, body and soul.courtesy:ehow.com



> Use your imagination and believe you are in perfect health. Imagine how a healthy body would feel and hold onto such feelings. Recall a past time when you were in good health or picture yourself as strong, energetic and pain free.

> Get a clear picture of what you want to look like. Cut out pictures of people with healthy bodies and put them in a place where you will see them each day. Such photographs carry positive energy that will increase your attraction to wellness.

> Write down several positive affirmations about your health. For example: "I am getting healthier everyday," or "My body is slender, strong and full of energy." Then spend 10 to 20 minutes each day meditating on these positive affirmations.

> Find the things that inspire you and experience them frequently. When you feel joy, the Law of Attraction will bring more joyful energy into your life. Go for long walks in nature or listen to inspiring music. Anything that makes you feel calm and at peace will do wonders for your body.

> Let go of negative emotions. Holding onto anger, resentment or fear will eventually manifest itself as sickness. If your emotions are deep seated, consult a counselor or psychiatrist to help you work through them.

Quickly Calm Your Nerves

There's little argument that to stay healthy and happy, you must eliminate undue stress and calm your nerves. Those who are "on edge" rarely have positive relationships, as stress almost always has a negative effect on our interactions with each other. Instead of accepting stress and actually becoming accustomed to living life this way, begin the promise to calm your nerves as soon as you realize you need it. For some people, a warm bath in a candlelit room is enough to bring down their stress levels. But for many, a more intensive regimen is necessary. It's not in your head. It is a medically acknowledged problem.courtesy:ehow.com



Some of the most familiar techniques incorporate one or more of the following into your life:

> Yoga

> Tai Chi

> Music

> Exercise

> Meditation

> Hypnosis

> Massage

The prestigious Mayo Clinic has noted how essential it is to calm nerves, noting that relaxation isn't just about peace of mind or enjoying a hobby. Relaxation is a process that decreases the wear and tear of life's challenges on your mind and body.

Practicing relaxation techniques can improve how you physically respond to stress by:

* Slowing your heart rate

* Lowering blood pressure

* Slowing your breathing rate

* Reducing the need for oxygen

* Increasing blood flow to major muscles

* Reducing muscle tension


Here is what the Mayo Clinic recommends for calming nerves, based on their latest findings:

> Autogenic relaxation. Autogenic means something that comes from within you. In this technique, you use both visual imagery and body awareness to reduce stress. You repeat words or suggestions in your mind to help you relax and reduce muscle tension. You may imagine a peaceful place and then focus on controlled, relaxing breathing, slowing your heart rate, or different physical sensations, such as relaxing each arm or leg one by one.

> Progressive muscle relaxation. In this technique, you focus on slowly tensing and then relaxing each muscle group. This helps you focus on the difference between muscle tension and relaxation, and you become more aware of physical sensations. You may choose to start by tensing and relaxing the muscles in your toes and progressively working your way up to your neck and head. Tense your muscles for at least five seconds and then relax for 30 seconds, and repeat.

> Visualization. In this technique, you form mental images to take a visual journey to a peaceful, calming place or situation. Try to use as many senses as you can, including smells, sights, sounds and textures. If you imagine relaxing at the ocean, for instance, think about the warmth of the sun, the sound of crashing waves, the feel of the grains of sand and the smell of salt water. You may want to close your eyes, sit in a quiet spot and loosen any tight clothing.