Cope With Frustration

Frustration is a form of poorly expressed anger. Frustration is about expecting the world and its inhabitants to be a certain way. In reality, things are as they are and no amount of ranting and steaming is going to change that. What you do need to change is your perspective.courtesy:wikihow



Look for the triggers that cause you to feel frustration. Common ones include:

> Impatience at the speed of people, systems, or results (See How to Be Patient).

> Slow comprehension of facts or a situation by another person

> Lack of reliability of a person, item, or system

> General sense of unfairness or injustice about things that are occurring in your life

> Poor communications resulting in something not being done at all, or on time
Wanting things your own way without compromise

Think through your answers. Do any of the above situations apply to you? If so, note down why. Draw another column and suggest ways that you might address each frustration in a fruitful manner instead. For example:

> "I get frustrated when the traffic crawls to halt and I am sitting in it, sweating. Counter thought: "I do hate the traffic being slow but I can avoid it by leaving earlier or later; or I can ride a bike instead."

> "I cannot stand the way George is so slow at understanding the point of every exercise! I'm tearing out my hair!" Counter thought: "I know that George is a slow learner but my goodness, when he grasps the concepts finally, there is no stopping him and he is often the person who points out errors as we go along, helping us to avoid greater problems at the end of the project. I need to be patient with him and remember that he has this latent skill."

> "Jenny never turns up on time. It's as if she is deliberately trying to ruin every occasion I spend with her!" Counter-thought: "Jenny has a problem with punctuality. It's not my problem unless I make it one. Instead, I need to either make her arrive on time by suggesting she arrive at a time half an hour earlier than the real time set, or I just need to get on with enjoying myself until she does arrive, in the full knowledge that that is her way."

> "Everything is so unfair! Even the weather is against me making my hair all lank and horrible. The people on the street are deliberately bumping into me. The taxi was late and I was late going into the meeting as a result. The whole world is against me!" Counter thought: "It's just one of those days where things happen over which I have little control. All the same, next time I will book my taxi for half an hour earlier to make time for possible delays. And as for my hair, it is probably time to see the hair stylist anyway!"

Breathe deeply and count when you feel a bout of frustration coming on. This is a good opportunity to create your reaction rather than to react and create your frustration. One deep breath, followed by a slow count to ten, during which time you let your thoughts go. Return to reality and consider the situation before you carefully and with a reality check. Ask yourself:

> Are things really as I perceive them?

> What sort of reaction can I give that will properly express my concern, my annoyance, my wishes?

> What good and positive words can I use to express the need for seeing things my way too?

> Am I seeing things in other people's way too?

Remember that frustration is born of wanting things or people to be a certain way that is fixed in your head. Your expectations of others and of how the world works is formed over many years of experiences and sometimes your personal overlay is defective; it might have been a source of self-protection once but when it continues to advise you poorly for future experiences, then it is stuck in time, and generally plain wrong. When you cease to expect other people to act in a certain way, when you start to look at the world with fresh eyes again and expect nothing apart from the fact that you are a member of a community of individuals and a world of many happenings, then you start to realize that things happen, people are the way that they are, and most importantly of all, how you react matters. For example:

> Let's say that somebody yells at you for accidentally standing on the street, as you intend to cross the road at the same time that they're coming around. There is no real fault here. You thought the road was clear, the driver did too. Neither of you had malicious intent. To take offense at the driver's fear of running you over is to place an interpretation on this event that isn't there; instead, accept that the driver was scared they'd hurt you (and that's a good intent) and that your piece in the action was equal. Simply apologize, acknowledge your own scare in the situation, and move on.

Practice talking back to yourself every time that frustration arises. It takes a long time to overcome what has become essentially a very comforting but demoralizing habit. While it might feel justified to feel a sense of outrage, persecution, and insult, where do those types of self-pitying feelings ultimately lead you? They lead to personal stagnation and a victimhood type mentality that prevents you from growing as a human being and from experiencing what the whole world truly has to offer. Don't give up on letting go the grip of frustration; it will take time but it will happen if you put in a concerted effort to change your perspective.

Cope with Life Altering Changes

If you are dealing with a major life change, whether it's a new job, a bad boss, a break up or divorce, being diagnosed with a disorder or disease, moving across country--you can cope! Here's how:

courtesy:wikihow.com

Keep in close contact with friends and family. If need be, clean the numbers of those "fair-weather" friends out of your cell phone. Only true friends will stick around and help you get through life altering changes, everyone else will just take up your valuable time or add more stress to your already crazy life. Talk with your close friends and family. You may be surprised of their wisdom.

Make quiet time for yourself. Taking the time to recharge your batteries will help you be better prepared in times of crisis. Listen to soft, relaxing music. Turn off the computer, TV and phone. Learn to meditate. Meditation helps clear the constant "chatter" in your head.

If you have been diagnosed with a disease or disorder such as depression or ADHD, learn as much as you can about it. It is helpful to find a doctor who specializes in that area who can prescribe you the right kinds of treatments. Look in to medications that could help you and take on a holistic approach to your condition. Look at the way you live your life, what kinds of habits have you formed? What could you do to change these habits or acquire healthier ones? This is rough at first, but will get easier as time passes.

Join an interest group or church. This can help you connect with people who share a similar interest and maybe provide a wider network of support. There are many churches that sponsor support groups for coping with life changes. You can also research support/interest groups on the internet.

Think positively. Live life one day at a time. Set small goals for yourself and reward yourself when you reach them. Sometimes looking too much at a long term goal can be overwhelming. Break up the larger goal into smaller goals.

Do something fun! This can take your mind off stressful events. Visit a friend you haven't seen in a long time. Go see that movie you've been dying to see. Take a trip to the zoo or go to a museum. Learn something new.

Learn how to say no. If you are already stretched thin, learn how to recognize this and assertively say no when someone asks you for another favor. You don't have to give them reasons why.

Volunteer. Helping those who are in worse situations than you can really put things into perspective. Help out at a local nursing home or hospital. Join a mentoring program. Help out a friend in need or a family member. Donate money to your favorite charity.

Find your own personal Higher Power. I'm not saying you have to go join a church or become a devout religious person. Picture a divine higher power that you can give your problems to and take over when you are worn out. You can't control every aspect of your life. This is impossible, so simply hand it to your personal Higher Power.

How Yoga Can Change Your Life Forever

“Yoga teaches us to cure what need not be endured and endure what cannot be cured. ”

While it's true that you'll get out of your practice only as much as you're willing or able to put into it, a committed approach to your practice can help you in ways that you've never expected. Indeed practicing yoga could be the platform and motivation you need to completely transform your life.


courtesy:ezinearticles.com

The basic benefits of yoga are widely documented and have been extensively researched. Research into the more controversial benefits of yoga continue - at the time of writing, pubmed.org (a Service of the National Library of Medicine and the National Institute of health) listed more than 900 research papers investigating the benefits of yoga. A search on the internet typically reveals benefits which include:

> Increased fitness
> Increased strength
> Fat reduction and weight loss
> Relief of back pain
> Better relaxation

Individually these benefits sound like compelling reasons to practice yoga and may be exactly what you are looking for. But yoga is an all encompassing approach to health and well-being - the word itself literally means union, and when we look at the impact practicing yoga can have on our lives, we should also take an all encompassing approach. While yoga alone cannot work miracles, it may be the foundation, along with some self belief, to help you:-

Earn more money: Practicing yoga increases your ability to relax and cope with your daily stresses. It also helps to develop a meditative ability allowing you to slow or clear your mind of constantly racing thoughts. After a hard days work, these are exactly the techniques you need so you can unwind, and recharge through longer and deeper sleep. If you can achieve that then you'll feel more refreshed, energised and motivated each day, improving your focus and concentration. You can channel this in what ever direction you want including working towards a promotion, searching for your ideal job or starting your own business.

Write a book, learn to dance: As outlined above, regular yoga practice can help you increase your energy, motivation and focus as well as improving your concentration - all of which can be used to develop your personal hobbies and interests, whatever they may be, mental activities or physical ones.

Spend more time with your friends and family: Promotion and money aren't your motivators? How about using your increased energy levels to bring greater balance between your work and personal lives, allowing you to spend more time with the people that matter.

A shot of self confidence: performing regular exercise, combined with the positive effects yoga has on metabolism and appetite, can help with weight (fat) loss. Combine that slimming with the toning effect yoga has on your muscles and you can start to develop the body you want in no time - and be feeling better about yourself just as quick. What better boost is there to your self confidence?

Depression relief: Yoga postures are designed to stretch, compress and massage your internal organs and glands. This stimulation is thought to help balance hormone levels in the body, which can help to achieve a more balanced emotional state.

Quit smoking: As well as strengthening your resolve to quit through the increased motivation, energy and focus, yoga breathing techniques (pranayama) are ideal to help you pass the cravings that at the biggest hurdle to quitting smoking.

As you can see, the benefits of yoga go far beyond simply improving your wellbeing - the benefits can be channeled to help you to make fundamental improvements to your whole life. When the rewards are so great, it's not difficult to understand why people become so enthusiastic about yoga.