Deal With a Liar

Liars. So difficult to deal with, yet so easy! This article will teach you some tips on how to deal with liars, and possibly how to make them crack.

When dealing with truth, liars, and the suppression of truth, or when a crime involves a conspiracy, or conspiracy to cover-up, accuse those guilty of the latter freely. They (both those deliberately seeking to lead you astray, and those who are simply foolish or misguided thinkers) generally run for cover when thus illuminated. courtesy:wikihow



Remember that, when dealing with a liar, the best policy is blinding truth. Liars always are shown in the end for what they are.

Keep your words soft and hold your tongue. At times this may be the hardest thing to do when presented with a lie, either to you, or about you. Simply state the truth. Do not use harsh words. Do not get angry. Try to remain calm and collected. Let the lie be seen for what it is in time.

Make sure you do not lie, most importantly. If you are known as an honest person, who never fails the truth, when a lie is said the other will be known as false. "False words are not only evil in themselves, but they infect the soul with evil." -Plato

Keep in mind that if one speaks lies about you, then say nothing back but the truth, even if it hurts sometimes. "Anger at lies lasts forever. Anger at truth can't last." -Greg Evans

Remember that truth really is the best weapon for fighting a lie. "Truth is generally the best vindication against slander." -Abraham Lincoln

Ask an elder for help in the matter. No matter what you are, be you 7, or 75, there is wisdom that comes with age, and presenting your problem to an elder will often lead you to a result. Never forget that they have lived already and have the wisdom that accompanies that.

Understand that if a child lies that's considered immaturity, if an adult lies that is considered having an evil tongue.

Reflect on the quote: "Words are cheap, but all the money in the world can't buy back an exposed lie!" -Noel Gallagher.

Be Assertive Without Being Arrogant

Assertiveness is a very important means for communicating your needs in a way that is fair to both yourself and to others. Unfortunately, for some insecure people, assertive people are sometimes threatening and it is easier to label them as arrogant, selfish, or unhelpful when they receive the answer "no" or when boundaries are made clear by the assertive person. In particular, those with manipulation, neediness, and trust problems can see assertive responses as undermining their own agendas and will seek to respond with negative critiques of an assertive person's behavior. This is where it can get a little tricky for the newly assertive convert but it's no reason to suddenly start worrying that you are arrogant!courtesy:wikihow.com



Instructions

Check that you are using assertive communication appropriately. If you are new to assertiveness, or you're not feeling your usual self because of illness or stress, etc., you might be resorting to techniques that are more aggressive, passive aggressive, or making assumptions where there are none to be made, rather than being assertive. A quick check you can do is to think back through your comments and stance with the person in question and write down what you said. Read it back: Does it sound to you as if you were being assertive, or otherwise? Be honest - it's about you!

Check the context. Sometimes factors come into the equation that shouldn't. Race, gender, married status, age, disabilities, illness, and so on can sometimes cause a person to assume that you have an "attitude", rather than an assertive style of communication. If you suspect that this is the situation, continue with your assertive communication and consider whether it is worth raising your concern that your status might be causing negative responses from the person accusing you of being arrogant, or whether this might even be something actionable in your workplace, school, etc. environment.

Be an active listener. Letting people know your boundaries and feelings while at the same time allowing them space to talk, discuss, and open up about their feelings is important. Assertiveness is about give and take; you take a little of their time to clarify your feelings and you give a lot of your time to hear about theirs. Remember that a good listener is also a flatterer and it's hard to find arrogance in that!

Be humble and modest. Assertiveness and humility make a fine combination. An assertive person doesn't need to shout "Me, me, me, look what I did!" from the rooftops. Assertive people are remembered because they stand firm, their needs and interests are clear to others, and because they are reliable; they also frequently become a form of role model for others seeking to assert themselves effectively. Take this role to heart but don't boast, big note yourself or become pushy, no matter how clever, popular, or successful you might be.

Remember that assertiveness techniques take time to learn and nobody gets it right all the time. Apologizing is a good response to a failure to communicate assertively though and there is always space to reopen that door to better communications.

Don't take negative comebacks to heart. When you are faced with one of life's more challenging personalities, the best thing to do is to not take it personally. Sometimes it is your self-assurance that is a cause of irritation for less secure people and their response is to try and weevil their way in through criticism. This is never a reason to fall back into old patterns of unhealthy communication styles. Simply reassert whatever your point is and choose to leave it there. It is something they can work on with the full enlightenment on where you stand.

Seek the middle way. Sometimes if you're placed in a position of having to choose between differing viewpoints in a group, there might be accusations of arrogance against one division by the other. Always consider the possibility of being able to acknowledge both sides of the argument and finding the middle way to draw the concerns together. You don't necessarily have to solve the situation but you can be a powerful facilitator to the group finding an answer to its division through your assertive communications. In such situations, inform everyone that the situation is not one for blame, not one for recriminations, and not one for finding fault. Instead, help people to see that there is a chance for compromise by showing them where each has made assumptions about the other or the facts of the situation, while still upholding your own belief or opinion. And suggest that they have another look at things to reach a compromise.

Heal a Broken Heart

Ever had someone twist your very heart from its cavern with only a couple of words, or worse just with an interminable silence? Ever had someone move on with their life as yours was left to flounder? There is a way to laugh and love again.



Few tried and tested ways:

> Try to understand why you are upset. Understand that everything happens for a reason. What exact moment made you feel upset?

>Don't think about whose fault it was - at one time or another, everyone makes mistakes. Don't worry about it.

>Do something quiet and relaxing to help you feel better. Maybe you want to take a hot bath, or meditate, or read a book. That's fine.

>In an hour, or two, or whenever you're ready, start thinking about whether you are ready to accept the other person's feelings.

>If you are, go ahead, call them, write them a note, or whatever you need to do. Maybe you want to talk face-to-face. They may not be willing to see you, or talk to you, but you should make an effort. Even if they turn you down, you feel better that you tried, and maybe they'll recognize that you made an effort.

>Understand what causes a broken heart in the first place. When we are in a mutual loving relationship we are constantly transferring our life energy (chi/ka/qi/prana) to our beloved automatically and more so when we think of them. This is based on the Huna principle: "Energy flows where attention goes". In a balanced relationship this transference of life energy is strong and has equal amounts of incoming and outgoing life energy. This helps both members feel secure and stable in a relationship even if it might be long distance. An unbalanced relationship causes this energetic flow to fall out of sync and results in an uneven distribution of incoming and outgoing life energy. This is why when we feel insecure, needy or clingy in a relationship even when there might not be a real reason behind it. The likely cause for this is because you stopped being your ex's main attention point in life and your ex didn't allow energy to flow back to you. Your ex might have had some other priorities (new job, changes in family, moving to a new city) and this lack of incoming energy is what causes one to become needy, anxious, unsettled and insecure in a relationship. But now that you have been told that you won't be able to continue your relationship with your beloved there is a conflict in mind and heart. You are still transferring life energy to your beloved automatically by thinking of them(you do love them after all!) but this is resulting in an inner conflict as you know you should stop. Your heart chakra is wide open and your mind now knows that you won't be getting any more incoming energy back from your beloved but your energetic body is still expecting it. This is why there is a great need to focus your energy on other aspects of life to balance your outgoing energy to something that will require your complete focus.

>What we miss when drawing away from a relationship is that we can't express our love anymore to someone. Ways to continue this form of heartfelt expression (and keep our wellbeing in balance on an energetic level) is to write poetry, paint, sing, dance, and do whatever it takes to allow you to transform your pain into something productive!

>Move on. When you feel you are ready to open your heart again, find someone else to be with

>Smile! Seriously, smiling makes you feel better and if you gather a few good, close friends and have a laugh together, you'll remember how good life was without him/her and that you're okay really.

>Remember the 2-year rule. It takes 2 years to learn a new job, to get accustomed to a new town and to completely heal a broken heart. If you follow these steps without remembering this first, you will be overly optimistic and disappointed. Real results are obtainable when realistic expectations are set.

>The moment he, she or it hammers the last drop of blood from your still loving/beating heart, stop arguing with that person or the fantasy voice of that person about how they are wrong and you are right. Everytime you catch yourself arguing your point in your own mind, just say stop and focus on something completely different.

>Replace the picture of your former dearest, with a picture of yourself. But keep the picture in the same place, just put a picture of you on top of it. Then every day when you walk by the picture, say I am sorry out loud to the picture. Yes you are apologizing to yourself for having gone that far around the bend for someone who didn't know your value and worth, and who doesn't matter anymore.

>Let time heal. It has been one month now. Go to someplace where you used to go or be near your so-called one-true love and go there with a friend (not alone, this is important). Mention 1 time and 1 time only how you used to drink at this very bar or your used to fend off Mr or Mrs. Wonderful's advances in that same back store room, mention it once only and then have a drink or file some papers, or do what ever you used to do, only now with a different person, preferably a comfortable friend who can smile knowingly then move the conversation forward.

>Practice being honest to yourself every day. In fact, be honest to everyone. Living in the truth of every moment will allow you to carve your way to a better relationship the next time around.

>Read a book every night before you go to sleep. You might never have read books, but nothing moves you outside of yourself better than a book, not a movie, not a music video, read a book. It will help you heal.

>If you feel ready, start dating other people again and not be a raving lunatic after about 2 months. Be careful about how you mention your ex to people you date, others can easily tell where your heart still truly lies and if just the mention of your ex's name makes your eyes well up, then you definitely need more time to heal before seeing other people. Jumping from one relationship to the next will not make you feel better in the long run as unresolved issues will appear in your new relationship.

>Speak to people. Speak to friends. They have all been through the same and will gladly help ease your burden of dealing with a broken heart.

>Come and read my blog, it may brings smile on your face :) Enjoy life! you don't get another.